Lenten Devotional - Day Four

Scripture: Matthew 11:25-30

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matt. 11:28)

  My name is Lisa and I’m an alcoholic. This is what it was like for me to go from active addiction to recovery. I went from weary and burdened to living a life of peace. Is life easy? Not at all. But because of the 12 steps of AA and a God of my understanding, I can get through life, clean and sober.

  My bottom came on April 28, 2014. Six weeks after my boyfriend died of a heroin overdose. You think that would be my bottom, but it wasn’t. Actually, I continued to use heroin, and my drinking got much worse. I lied about everything. Finally, those lies caught up with me. On that day in April I was arrested and charged with my boyfriend’s death. That is when I hit my knees and said “God I can’t do this anymore. Please help me.” That is where my journey into recovery began. 

  I knew nothing about AA or the 12 steps but was directed to the rooms through outpatient rehab. I had the gift of desperation and the willingness to go to any length. What I learned very quickly was that addiction is a disease. I wasn’t a bad person trying to become good, I was a sick person who needed to get well. I was spiritually bankrupt and needed a Higher Power in order to do that. What many people don’t know is that AA and the 12 steps are a spiritual way of living. As alcoholics/addicts we cannot and will not recover unless we find that Higher Power.

  For me that was easy. I grew up in the church with a loving God. I turned my back and walked away from him. He waited for me to turn back around and I did. We say in the rooms that God led me to AA and AA led me back to God. My boyfriend dying and me getting arrested has been the biggest heartbreak and tragedy in my life, but if it didn’t happen the way it did… I can’t imagine where I’d be.

  In recovery, I have lost custody of my child, my house, my job, have gone to trial for murder, gone through breast cancer including two surgeries and 16 rounds of chemo. I am learning to love myself, am a daughter, mother, sister and friend like I have never been. I am trying to be the best person I can every day. I humbly ask God to help me get through my day and do my best to do His will and not mine. I lay my troubles at his feet and let my faith carry me through. Am I perfect? Of course, not, I’m human. But when I fail or slip, I know what to do. And through it all, good and bad, I’ve stayed clean and sober.

  The 11th step is probably my favorite: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understand him. Praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. I pray…a lot. And when someone asks how I know if I’m spiritually fit, I say when I find calm in the middle of the storm, I know I am close with God and exactly where I need to be.

Lisa, Contributor

Remember in Prayer: Those seeking rest from their drug burden.

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